A couple of weeks ago I sat around a full family dinner table and thought about how thankful I was for this moment. Finley, our friend’s beautiful daughter, had suggested that we all go around the table and share a highlight from the day with one another. Mine was definitely this.I grew up in a big family and it would be a given that every evening we would sit around the dinner table together to eat. When I was born, our family was a comfortable size of four, but by the time I left home we had grown to be eight. If I’m honest, I’m not sure that I always appreciated the virtues of being from a larger family home. I would get embarrassed when we went on outings or holidays together, our large number causing coos and comments. I would walk ten paces behind everyone, to hopefully make it seem like I wasn’t with them. No matter what we did, or where we were, people always seemed to notice and unwanted attention would be drawn our way.Oh, what a difference a few years make! Now, I couldn’t be prouder of my family and would give anything to gather them all together right now for a dinner.In the past few years I feel like I’ve uncovered one of life’s greatest secrets: the beauty of family.When I look at the tribe I was born into, for all of our faults and quirks, I couldn’t be more thankful or more blessed. One of the beautiful things about family is that it is forever expanding and, as long as our doors and hearts remain open, we will remain surrounded.For the past couple of months, I have been working with a beautiful young lady who has recently exited the sex industry. She is making huge strides to see her life turned around and it is an honour to be a witness to it. A week ago I was invited to her church service and found myself in the basement of an old church building with about ten other folk, all recovering addicts. The pastor lead us in singing several hymns from an old hymnal, accompanied by a middle-aged keyboardist who plonked away next to him. No one was singing in tune, or in the right key, because no one could really quite hear how it was meant to be sung, however it was one of the most precious worship times I have ever experienced. The room was flooded with so much truth, honesty, simplicity and humility that it transcended the need for a vocal coach and working P.A system. It was truly an offering poured out from grateful hearts.After giving space for everyone to greet each other with hugs and hellos and seat ourselves in metal folding chairs, the Pastor launched into his topic for the sermon - the importance of family dinners. We each received hand outs on the benefits of such a tradition as he schooled us on why this wasn’t just a good idea, but a Biblical one.[embed]https://thefamilydinnerproject.org/about-us/benefits-of-family-dinners/[/embed]My heart swelled as he talked and unpacked the simple yet powerful concept of sharing food together. I have seen firsthand the fruit that comes from these regular times, but I also know how easily it can be pushed aside or overlooked. Afterwards, as I walked out of the building with my friend, we chatted about the service and she divulged how her family had never eaten together and now both her parents and brother have passed away. I turned to her and said she was welcome to join Phillip and I for family dinner anytime.“Really?!” Her face lit up as she responded to my invitation; the image of innocent childlikeness as this orphan heart found a home.“Really.”The phrase ‘family dinner’ can conjure up all sorts of images and scenarios for different people, not all of which are positive. We can easily view it as a ‘cookie cutter’ picture of the happy middle class, a luxury afforded in the 1950’s but absent in our technologically driven culture where Facebook has become the new dinner table. Family, however, never goes out of fashion and when we choose to gather around one of our primary needs, such as food, we create a space for connection, intimacy and growth.Family need not be contained by a bloodline, but can be enlarged with the simplest of phrases: "you are welcome".When Phillip and I decided to make New York City our home, we began investing in relationships around us and adopting them as our NYC family unit. In return, we found others doing the same for us, drawing us into their own circles and communities. As I sat around the dinner table with Finley, her parents and grandparents, I found myself in the physical embodiment of what it means to choose someone and make them your own.If you find yourself lacking a family right now, I encourage you, open up your dinner table and welcome some people to gather around it. If you already have the seat at someone else's, may you continue to invest there and welcome others to join you. If you are the one whose door is always open may your home be blessed by how you choose to love. Wherever you are in this season, know that there is always room for you; there is always room for one more.[embed]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sIK_DocajFs[/embed]
