I’ve been wanting to write a blog on here for several weeks now, but every time that I’ve sat down, plugged in, and turned on Ludovico Einaudi - my favourite musical accompaniment - I find myself staring at the blank page on the screen and racking my brain for the words to fill it. Today, as I started this process again, I realised that I have been waiting for things to resolve before I tell you about them. I’ve been hoping that the testimony to my waiting would have surfaced in between my ‘writing sessions’ so I could give you the completed story. But so far those time periods have just been additions to my waiting season, and on paper my life is no further along than it was last week.Do you ever find yourself in that place of wanting the ‘picture perfect’ life, but instead feel like you’re living out a hand-me-down version? Do you cringe every time you’re asked, ‘So what are you up to at the moment?’ because you don’t like the sound of your answer? Do you find yourself, like me, in the midst of a waiting season once again?Welcome. It means so much to know I’m not alone.I realise that this could easily sound like I am very dissatisfied, or even miserable, with how my life looks like right now. That is truly not the case though. I actually love the simplicity of my days at the moment - getting to be present with my husband and community on a daily basis, saying yes to opportunities as they arise, having the space to dream, travel, and invest in others. But the thing is, I know there is more and that is what I am hungry for.I’m turning 30 at the end of this year and with that looming celebration has come a process of reevaluating my life so far. Truth be told, it looks a little different than I thought it would 10 years ago. Certain things that I had hoped for by now are still in my box of dreams, waiting to be realised, and others that I had never imagined could happen are now my day-to-day reality. Life is a funny thing and the time line we create to map it all out on rarely matches the way things end up being.The word waiting is defined as, ‘to look forward to eagerly; to continue as one is in expectation of; to be in readiness for’.‘To be in readiness for’ implies that we are still fully present in our current circumstances but our gaze is fixed on where we are heading. I am reminded of the image of a runner poised on their starting block, waiting for the sound of the starter gun to release them forward. Every sense is heightened to their present position, straining to receive every signal around them which will inform their every move and response, but they are obedient to only go when they are instructed to.In the midst of being ready for what is still to come, we must learn how to receive from the present.Recently, during a worship time at our church, the worship leader, Brianna Barnes, paused and said something that truly resonated with my heart, ‘God isn’t just at work when the mountain moves or the healing comes, he is at work the whole time that you are waiting.’ It is easy to write off a ‘waiting season’ as this excerpt of time that we just have to endure until the breakthrough comes - the new job, the dream home, the birth of a child, marrying your long-awaited spouse or finally being debt free - but this is not an empty time zone, rather it is full of revelation, gifts and understanding that we would never gain had everything been handed to us the moment we clicked our fingers. I know this isn’t easy. These words probably won’t make the longing in your heart any less real or desirable, but I do believe there is a gift for you today, right now. There is peace that will still your anxious thoughts and joy to strengthen your heart, there is hope that will breathe fresh fire in your bones and there is faith to steady your gaze once more on the vision before you.This season is not empty or barren; there is fruit still for your enjoy. You have not failed and your dreams are not a lost cause. Your adventure is just wilder than you had imagined!
