“Hey guys, so how does everyone feel about this for a Facebook post? ‘I found my ex girlfriend (and her husband) in New York?!’” Will’s animated, Australian accent accompanied the question as we walked along the High Line.Phillip and I both laughed loudly. “Ha! Perfect!”This is a recipe for a potentially weird day - myself, my husband and my ex-boyfriend from ten years ago, all walking the High Line in New York together. There aren’t many people I know who have been able to comfortably maintain relationship with someone that they have dated in the past, and yet it is possible.Bethel Church in Redding, California have coined a phrase that I absolutely love, “the goal is to always leave a person better than you found them”. As I walked through Manhattan with Phillip and Will, catching up on the last few years and enjoying the magnificent sites of the city, I witnessed the embodiment of this mantra.Will and I dated ten years ago but before we ever held hands, we were friends, and after it ended we ensured that our friendship did not. That's not to say that it was always easy, navigating through it all, but last week I realized just how much better I was for knowing him. He truly had left me better than when he found me.Following our afternoon of New York sightseeing under a blazing hot sky, we met up with Will’s mum, Kirsten, and enjoyed another mini reunion. Again, potentially awkward, but in reality not at all. Here is revealed the difference between those who know how to love and those who don’t. Kirsten embraced Phillip like one of her own and honoured him as a man and as my husband. She held the power in that moment to make things uncomfortable for Phillip, as she met him for the first time, but instead I watched her extend love and a desire to get to know him.How often have we belittled someone with a passing comment or hostile body language, simply because we’ve felt threatened by their position? I know I have.‘Above all, have fervent and unfailing love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins, it overlooks unkindness and unselfishly seeks the best for others.’ 1 Peter 4:8; The BibleLove is a choice and when we choose to live in it, it covers everything; it changes everything. And love always leaves you better than when it found you. We have the ability, every single day, to leave others better than when we found them. We don't even need to know their name but simply responding to another human with grace and dignity, infuses their world with this most holy of expressions - love.The other character in this story is Phillip, my amazing partner for life. His desire to honour Will and make room for him is one that blew me away and, if I'm honest, I don't think I’d have found so easy to do if the tables had been reversed. Our history, experiences, past relationships and perspectives are all part of the mosaic that make us beautiful, but they can also be that which holds us back and prevents us from encounters of a greater kind. Phillip’s willingness to engage with parts of my history made room for healing, new friendships and restored relationships.This is what takes place when we allow love to change, mold and lead us. We become a source of praise to those around us. We begin to radiate with love! The Greek word for radiate is ‘endoxos’ which means, ‘gorgeous, honourable, esteemed, splendid, infused with glory.’ Stop for a second and think about that. When you allow your life to be transformed by love, you in turn gain the description of someone who is gorgeous, honourable, esteemed, splendid and infused with glory. Wow! This is the kind of person I want to be. This is the kind of impact I want to have on my relationships and world around me.So thank you Will, for leaving me better than you found me. Thank you Kirsten for being a mother whose love is fierce but also oh, so kind to those you encounter. Thank you Phillip for never failing to show me what love truly looks like. And thank you God, for being the source of such pure, beautiful, glorious love that we get to abide in every day.
