I felt nervous this morning as Phillip and I headed, hand-in-hand, to our ultrasound appointment in St Paul, Minnesota. The last time we had been in this position the circumstances were very different, and the results had been heartbreaking. Today there was no fear, but rather an excited ‘what-are-we-going-to-find-out’ flutter in our bellies.
Life being what it’s been the past couple of years since our second pregnancy, we haven’t been able to afford health insurance and so have been living that ‘God-is-my-doctor’ life, which is great until you pee on a stick and realise that might not be an option for much longer. But for the past 12 weeks and 6 days we have continued our journey of trusting God, believing that this third pregnancy would be the healthy miracle we have been longing for. It also led me on a search of places that offer free care to pregnant women, and that’s how I found Abria.
Abria means, ‘father of a multitude; strength; power.’ As a clinic, they offer a safe, non-judgmental, and supportive environment for Twin Cities women, teens, and couples experiencing an unexpected pregnancy. They do not provide or refer women for abortions, but they do recognise choice and offer medical counseling for those unsure of what to do.
As a Christian, I may be about to step into dicey, political waters with some people here, but I also wanted to share my honest experience today, and express my gratitude to those who are truly seeking to serve families - whatever their circumstances may be. I am pro-life, but I also know that life is messy and circumstances can leave you feeling vulnerable, alone and afraid. Today, as I sat on a super comfy couch talking to one of Abria’s life coaches, I was struck by the peace, warmth and safety of the environment they have created. I am so blessed to be married to one of the most supportive men God created, but not every woman who has sat in that same seat has had that.
The ladies who took care of Phillip and I were moved with empathy when we shared our miscarriage journey, and joined us in celebrating as we took in the ultrasound images of our tiny bouncy baby with awe. We were sent out with armfuls of information, pre-natals, hugs and well-wishes as we left with hearts full of gratitude both to God and the generosity of human compassion.
I think this is what it looks like to be pro-life, to be pro the one in front of you. It looks like welcoming them in, just as they are, with love, understanding and grace. It looks like hearing their stories, and having the honest conversations of what all the options are as well as what they entail. It also looks like empowering them to be the mothers and fathers that we were all created to one day be. Yes, I wish abortion didn’t exist. As a woman who has lost two babies against her will, I have come to value the preciousness and sanctity of life in a much deeper way. I can also see how much trauma is experienced by those who feel like they have no other choice than to terminate their pregnancy, yet backing them into a corner with condemnation does not say love either. How we care and provide for our mothers is just as important as how we value and care for our unborn.
The systems and structures this nation has doesn’t tend to favour the under-privileged, the immigrant or vulnerable, the poor and weak. We seem to smile instead on those with solid educations, good backgrounds, the right last name or zip code, building the strength of our society on whatever we can gain from them whilst pushing the ‘other’ out. If we’re just talking numbers, having a baby is expensive - especially in America. On paper, Phillip and I can’t afford to pay for a baby, but we are some of the privileged ones. We are surrounded by family and friends who adore us, who have been praying for this baby along with us, and who we know we can lean on in times of need. We also have faith, this rooted assurance that God - the father of multitudes - is with us and will not forsake us. But not everyone has that. Where we say choice, they may see no other way.
I’m not attempting to solve the topic of abortion in this blog by any means, but as I watched this little miracle baby growing inside of me, bouncing around in my womb and responding to the sound of my laugh, I was struck by the grace of God over it all. Politics won’t solve our debates or what we see the problem as being, but a Kingdom perspective will. What do I mean by that? I mean that when we surrender our political preferences, banners, megaphones and war cries and instead pick up the heart of a mother and father we get to embrace those around us as our own. It allows us to see. It opens our hearts to compassion, which in turn compels us to open our homes to house the orphan and the widow.
By the time you read this I will be 13 weeks pregnant - the furthest any of my pregnancies have gone and a victory Phillip and I are already celebrating. I know this baby is a gift from God, and I am profoundly grateful for the love of life and sacrifice of others which enabled us to meet each other for the first time. As we continue to converse, campaign and debate with one another about these topics that we can’t help but be impassioned about, may we never lose sight of the one - however old or tenderly young they may be - because every heart and the beat that resounds within should be given the time to be heard.
