Securing a seat on the train home is a necessity, especially after being on your feet at work for 13 hours straight. That 20 minute ride in the warm carriage can be the beginning of the unwind, when your feet start to tingle from the relief of not having to support your weight and your brain begins to think about nothing but food and sleep. I was having one of these moments last week when a lady made a beeline for the empty seat next to me after the train doors opened at 42nd St. She plonked herself down next to me and began engaging in conversation as if we were old friends. Her hair was barely being held back from her face by a hairband and wisps and curls escaped it in various raggedy directions. Her clothes were baggy and unkempt and her face was lined with stories and life far beyond her years, but her eyes sparkled, full of warmth, laughter and life.“If I was going to buy underwear from Victoria’s Secret, I wouldn’t carry it around in one of their bags ‘cause guys are gonna know what I’ve got in there and start gettin’ off on it!” My neighbor was gesturing to the girls next to us who had clearly just been shopping in the said lingerie shop.I smiled, this wasn't exactly where I imagined the conversation was going to go but I liked this lady; she had my attention.“Or they could just be carrying food and the joke’s on the guys,” I responded with a cheeky grin.“Ahhhhh, that’s funny! I like you! That was funny!” She laughed and gave me a big smile. “When I was 15 I was offered $5,000 to be in a porn video because I used to be bangin’ back then. I thought about it but then realized that I was gettin’ paid one time when these guys who would be watching it would be able to rewind it and play it, rewind it and play it, rewind it and play it and get off on me over and over again. I decided no, I wasn’t going to do that, they’d at least have to pay me for every time someone did that! I wasn’t going to be treated like that and I’m not going to get my underwear from Victoria’s Secret.”It’s amazing what someone’s shopping back will trigger on a NY subway.“Well I’m glad you decided against the porn video. So are you looking forward to Christmas this year?”“Christmas is just another day for me really. It doesn’t make me sad but it doesn’t make me happy either, it’s just another day. I don’t have family, haven’t for years, and I was incarcerated for a long time so it’s just another day.”I was silent for a moment before responding, “that makes sense, it can be a very interesting season depending on what is happening in your life, but I see in you someone that brings so much joy to other people. I feel like you are someone who knows how to care for people even when they don't care back. You have your arms wide open to others and that’s beautiful. You carry what this season is all about.”She looked at me and smiled, a sort of shy and blushing smile like when you give a little girl a compliment. “Thank you, that means a lot, that’s really nice. I like you. You’ve made my day.”“You’ve made my day!” I exclaimed with a grin, “and now whenever I see a Victoria’s Secret bag I’m going to be reminded of you!”We both laughed. “I’m Danica”, she held out her hand.“I’m Joy”, I said taking her’s.“That’s a beautiful name! You are a joy. Thank you.”It’s easy to miss seeing people sometimes or writing them off as unimportant because of their outward appearance. Interactions with others can be inconvenient, annoying or disruptive but they can also be hilarious, beautiful and profound. I’m not the hero in this story, Danica is. She saw me and sought me out. She chose to engage with my story and revive my journey home, not the other way around. Even though her social status and resume would claim her unworthy of so much, she stepped outside of those boxes and chose to see herself as human. Period.Christmas is a season where, no matter your religious beliefs, we all engage in celebrations and naturally gravitate toward family and friends to love on one another and express our value for each other. This shouldn’t end with the passing of December 25th in our diaries but rather be something that we choose to carry through to every day that follows. Although Danica’s statement that Christmas is ‘just another day’ is in one way sad, there is also truth behind it. Christmas Day is just another date where we have the opportunity to effect one another’s stories with profound beauty, where we can remove lies by inserting the truth and where we can be a light in the midst of someone else’s darkness.So my challenge to myself, and to you, is to take each other out of the neat boxes and pigeonholes that we've placed each other in and breathe. Let's be men and women who aren't afraid to engage with the different, but who love to see the human in everybody because when we do, Victoria's Secret will never be the same again!
Why We Shouldn't Be Afraid To Be Human
